Whenever I bring up solo travel, someone inevitably brings up fears about dining alone. A shocking number of people I know have never tried it, even in the comfort of their hometowns! Some people worry about being judged for going out to eat alone, while others don’t know what to do with themselves in a context that is usually social. So what happens when you finally embark on that solo trip and you’re suddenly faced with a whole lot of dining alone? As someone who completely understands solo dining anxiety, here are my top tips for learning to love it.
Easing into dining alone
1. Bring items to occupy yourself
You’ve arrived and ordered, but now you’re feeling awkward sitting at an empty table. If you’re nervous about dining alone, it’s good to plan ahead and have a few options to occupy yourself while you wait for your food. There’s nothing wrong with scrolling through your camera roll and auditing your pics from the day. However, nothing says “I’m a confident solo diner” like bringing something to keep you busy.
When I dine solo, I love to use the time to document my trip and take stock of the day. To do this, I often bring my journal, and sometimes a few blank postcards to write. If I’m just looking to unwind, a book is a classic (and classy) entertainment option. For more casual spots, a pack of cards works well for a round or two of solitaire. To anyone observing, you’ll look occupied and at ease with your activity of choice. More importantly, you’ll be too invested in your activity to worry about other diners, and the time will fly by!
2. Try dining alone in with a cafe-adjacent experience
Most folks I know who fear dining alone are much less opposed to sitting down at a cafe by themselves. After all, many of us have studied or worked alone from a coffee shop before. It can feel less intimidating to start with something familiar, and casual environments can feel lower-stakes. Look for a restaurant where you can get breakfast, lunch, or brunch in a cafe-like setting to start with something that feels more comfortable.
3. Scope out solo-friendly restaurants
I’m a firm believer that every restaurant can be solo-friendly, but there are a few things to look for if you’re hoping to try easy mode first. Many people like to seek out restaurants with full-service bars. This way, you can get away from the “empty chair across from you” feeling. I also like to look for places with tables or stools set against the windows, as people watching is an excellent way to fill your time when dining solo! Finally, try eating at off-peak hours when starting out to avoid potential guilt around dining solo with a line out the door.
Perfecting your solo dining game
4. Go all-out on a solo date
On the other end of the spectrum from casual spots, solo dining is a great chance to take yourself out. Do a bit of snooping into those restaurants with impossible-to-get reservations. Many have a walk-in bar, and by going solo, you can often snag a lone open stool without much planning at all. From experience, I can say there’s nothing quite like strolling past the line out the door and settling right into the one open seat at the bar.
Also, keep your eye out for restaurants with tasting menus or sampler platters/tasting boards. Many fancier restaurants have one of these, and they can be a fantastic way to taste a bit of everything, even if you don’t have someone to share with! I found the tasting board in the picture at an outdoor bar in Italy. I got to sample the wares, sip a spritz, and people-watch to my heart’s content – pretty much my ideal solo dining experience!
5. Make friends with the wait staff
This is easiest if there’s not a significant language barrier, but make an effort to be extra kind and friendly to the wait staff. Give a genuine compliment, ask a question about the restaurant or city, make a bit of small talk, and be sure to tip if it’s a tipping culture. It always surprises me how much more connected I feel dining solo when I feel like I’ve got the waitstaff in my corner. As a bonus, sometimes I get great local travel tips too!
6. Know the culture and have a game plan
As much as I love solo dining, there are times when I wish I had a dining buddy. Some cultures are less friendly to solo diners than others, and some restaurants specifically cater to parties of two or more. As a solo female diner, I’ve gotten everything from restaurants who refuse 1-person reservations to waitstaff who ask me why I’m dining alone or even try to join me at the table. You’ll feel more confident in these situations if you come prepared with a few quippy one-liners. Something as simple as “Yep, table for 1 please!” or some humor like “I’m eating alone so I don’t have to share!” can do the trick.
Finally, it’s always good to have a backup plan or another restaurant in the area which you can pivot to if you end up feeling uncomfortable or just not loving the vibes. As with all things solo travel, you have to be able to trust yourself first and foremost.
When you’re just tired of dining alone
7. Take a break from restaurant settings
Everyone know that grocery stores are a budget traveler’s best friend. If you’re staying somewhere with a kitchen, cheffing up a simple meal can be a welcome break from dining out. Even if you don’t have access to a kitchen, why not assemble a grocery store picnic or snag some takeout and find a nice plaza, beach, or greenspace for a leisurely lunch or dinner? Alternatively, look for food halls or market-style dining options. Here, you likely won’t be the only one dining alone, which leads me to…
8. Make friends with others dining solo
Making friends is easiest in more casual settings, such as cafes, restaurants with communal tables, or food markets. If you spot another person dining solo and you’re feeling social, why not go say hi! This works particularly well in a busy locale where you’ve managed to grab a table but see others still searching. Why not offer up the seat next to you to your fellow solo diners! Food and drink choices make an easy conversation starter, and from there you might just have a new travel friend! I’ve met plenty of locals and fellow travelers through one-off shared meals which often become memorable trip highlights.
At the end of the day, dining alone doesn’t have to be scary. If you come in prepared and are willing to mix it up, you can solo dine in style. No matter what you’ll get some tasty food, and hey, you might just sneak into some hard-to-get-into restaurants or make some friends along the way!
I love this! The depth is so helpful. I really appreciate the comprehensiveness with which you honor the genuine magnitude of this issue for those of us who tend to socially overthink.
The fear of dining alone was the hardest and scariest part of learning to travel solo. Despite all logic guaranteeing that onlookers are not here to judge me and my aloneness, it remains often impossible to let that in and to relax. My method became to journal or draw in the beginning, before ordering and while waiting for a meal, to appear as voluntarily alone as possible. And then, after an order arrives and while eating, to read a book. This takes our attention away from the imagined judgments of everyone around us and helps make significant progress on the reading list